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Lessons from My Patients

Dr. Keith Stoll MSc, MPhil, PhD

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04/02/1915/02/19

Over 35 years of counselling I have kept a collection (now in 42 volumes) of thoughts, ideas, anecdotes and stories – lessons taught to me by those with whom I have worked. I was always afraid of forgetting the wisdom of others – especially since they had often acquired it the hard way – and its impact upon me. So I transcribed those lessons – and I realised that I didn’t want to waste this hard-won collection of the experiences and thoughts of others.

This site is, therefore, as much for my benefit as it is for yours. I hope that you will find it as useful as I have.

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Ten

Where should we be best behaved? One of my patients admonished his son about his bad behaviour. “Come on Jamie, you don’t do that at […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Nine

When it comes to human dignity, we cannot make compromises. – Angela Merkel A patient of mine, Christine, demonstrated grace in an unmistakable way. I had only three hours […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Eight

Change, or learn forbearance. One of my colleagues came up to me after a lecture that I gave on change with a particularly […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Seven

Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences. – Norman Cousins One of my patients, Phillipe, is a former ski instructor. Never one to waste an opportunity […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Six

We each define love differently. My patients repeatedly teach me that couples can have very different ways of showing ‘love’ – and have different […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Five

Julia came in with her husband, Rob, having had an affair 17 years into their marriage. Rob was understandably devastated, […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Four

You are responsible for what you say, and how you say it. Stephen reported that, “I’m constantly assessing – like a Geiger counter – what the impact of what I’m going […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Three

Labelling: it’s what you do, not what you are. “I don’t expect that (my husband) Chris, would ever come in to see you, but I’m hoping to be […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number Two

Hearing is not listening. Emma and Luis had already taught me a valuable lesson. Emma announced that much of the […]

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04/02/1915/02/19

Lesson Number One

It’s the other person’s world that counts. Luis is South American, and married to an English woman, Emma. She was […]

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  • Lesson Number Ten
  • Lesson Number Nine
  • Lesson Number Eight
  • Lesson Number Seven
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  • harley.house@btconnect.com
  • +44(0)207 580 2121
  • 8 Bridford Mews
    London
    W1W 5BJ
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